sigh

there are many things in this world.. that we cannot understand.. some, we just cant say.. though its been keeping ur heart from beating.. spiritually.. but there's more to life.. i just want to know what. why. when. how. who. apparently.. my questions are still unanswered.. but in the mean time, i'm hanging on pretty well.. i've been wanting and wanting so much in my life, till i forget to appreciate what i have right now.. and when it's gone.....thats when i realised what i had all along.

best friends come and go.. and as for mine.. i hurt her pretty bad. i guess i just overreacted.. because i trusted her with a really big secret, and she just spilled the beans to the two most popular gossip spreaders. i was furious.. and scared too.. i just let it all out on her.. and maybe it was my fault.. but i was really scared.. that if people knew, and that he will know.. i'd lose him...forever.

when i looked back, it was my fault. but i just cant do anything right now.. i expected more from her u noe.. but.....i guess. i just dint get that friendship that i wanted from her.. maybe i'm being too demanding.. den again, maybe she was being too heartless.. i dont know. i'm confused. plus the homeworks that are piling up on me.. my performance that is coming soon.. the overnight came which we are leading.. him.. everything. is just going very, very wrong..

i want to smile.. like i've never smiled before.. dance, like nobody's watching.. laugh like i've never felt as happy.. i want that. why cant i have that? am i asking too much of myself? maybe. just maybe.. i'm falling in love again. all over again. who knows. because it hurts so bad.. =X

. imissyou .